I’ve been at the new job for a bit over a month now, so it seems about time for an update, in as much as one can update about a research job, since research participant confidentiality is just about the most important part of my job there is, and requires a good bit of discretion.

Here’s what I can say, I think.

I’ve been saying since approximately 1999 that I wish someone would write a self-help book, not about dealing with depression or getting help for depression or what meds to take or whatever, but about what happens after. About how weird it is to be in the place where you don’t need to monitor every single thought you have for backsliding, and where a bad day can just be a bad day without being cause for a three-day crying jag, and where it’s still a part of who you were and who you will always be but it’s not the major identifying characteristic of your life. How to be not-depressed anymore.

Well, one day I will get around to writing that book. And then when I am done, maybe I will write the How To Deal With Not Hating Your Job book.

Which is not to say that all is sunshine and butterflies, of course. Learning your way around somewhere new and something new is hard, even when you know some of the people and some of the issues already, and I still feel in over my head in some respects and like I am doing a piss-poor job of pretending that I’m not. But still, basically I’m somewhere I like being, working with people I like and respect who (in a shocking new turn of events) actually seem to like and respect me, where I get good feedback when I do something good and constructive help when I do something less-good, and ultimately doing some research that I hope is one day going to help make the lives of autistic kids and adults a whole lot better.

So…yeah. Good stuff. I just kind of feel like I keep having to stop and take stock and check to make sure I still don’t hate where I am and what I’m doing. And when another day goes by and the answer is still no, I don’t hate it, it’s a surprise and a gift all over again.

Another nice little surprise is that when I don’t dread going to work every day, I don’t need to spend quite so much time sleeping to build up strength reserves to get through it, so I’ve gotten back a few more hours to my day. (More flexible working hours don’t hurt, either.) So far I am not doing anything particularly exciting with that time - the state of my overgrown grass is slightly appalling and my poor scarf is never going to be ready to wear by winter at this rate. But just having the time is nice, even if I’m mostly using it to lounge about playing on the computer.

Also, I seem to have taken up yoga. Super-easy yoga for people who are overweight and inflexible and don’t know jack about yoga, but still. It’s fun so far after the first couple of classes, and I feel good afterwards and when I practice at home. So, yay for that. Overall, things are good.

Now if only people I haven’t thought about in a decade would stop coming out of the woodwork this week, having tracked me down on the internet to find out why I didn’t go to our high school reunion last week. Because I would rather shove red-hot pokers in my eyes than ever talk to you people again, obviously! Which is not entirely true, as there have been a couple of people I was really pleased to hear from and that more than makes up for the people I could not possibly care less about. Nonetheless, I hope the wave of high-school nostalgia ends soon. I am not one of those people for whom high school was the pinnacle of my life, and I don’t really know what to say to people for whom it apparently was.