The Holidailies Bad Prompt Advent Calendar
Tue 4 Dec 2007Um, hi. I’m over here in the corner, having a little bit of performance anxiety, because apparently I was really funny yesterday, and today I am tired and cranky and not really feeling very funny at all. Because really, sometimes I think I should chuck my whole career and go flip burgers. But I figure everyone has those days, so I am just being melodramatic and things are not actually that crazy - until one of my higher-ups comes into my office and says “Hey - do you ever think maybe we should just forget about research and go flip burgers?”
In other words, it’s been a bit of a day and I’m officially demoralised. Nothing a bath, a game of laser pointer with the cats, a mug of Mexican hot chocolate, a listen to the soundtrack bits that are now up on the Sweeney Todd website, and a good night’s sleep won’t cure. But in the meanwhile, I do not feel funny tonight.
However! All is not lost. I did decide last night that the Bad Writing Prompt entry went over so well that clearly a Holidailies Bad Prompt Advent Calendar is needed. And while I have not yet rounded up a full set of prompts to get us through until Christmas, I did scrounge up the first few last night. So, here it is:
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Holidailies Bad Prompt Advent Calendar: December 4, 2007
“A favorite possession is threatening to jump from the top of the Empire State Building. Dissuade your beloved item from jumping by expressing your love and telling it how much it means to you.”
Please, drop me a line in the comments and let me know how you would begin the terrible response you would write in response to this prompt. Or if you’re actually crazy enough to write a full response, more power to you, and please leave a link in the comments!
I believe my own response would begin something like:
Dear gigantic stuffed turtle that Len gave me for our anniversary one year: Don’t jump! Except, wait… you’re a stuffed animal. It would be kind of fun to watch you splat, and I could always safety pin you back together. Jump! Jump! Jump!
I had thought perhaps I would throw the prompt into the Google Images search engine and see what it would pull out, to offer you some visual stimulation to get your bad-writing juices flowing. But Google images gave me pictures of the state of Oklahoma, a box of penicillin, a Hillary Clinton mask, and Ronald Reagan. I’m very, very afraid.
previous post: Worst. Prompts. Ever.
next post: Have a merry STABBING PAIN!
December 5th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
Oh no! You’ve become a victim of Seasonal Holidailies Early Success Performance Anxiety Syndrome, Type E. (SHESPASTE). “She’s Paste,” as it’s known colloquially, is usually not fatal; patients often even go on to bigger and better blog entries once complications arising from work-related stresses are treated.
So, in response to the prompt, though this seems like a painfully obvious direction to take it:
“No favorite possession! Do not jump! You mean so much to me, especially now that you’ve apparently acquired locomotion and freewill. I could make millions off you…”